Last Tear


Watery eyes and a deep breath – like it was the last draw of air left in the atmosphere, the heavy heart and the The lump in his throat
when he realized that the time has come for her send off was not just painful when, 25 years of being his was now gonna end and the thought that she was gonna leave him for someone else’. He knew it was the inevitable, but he was not able to accept the reality of her going away…

Poker faced he always was, none could read any expressions behind his veil, and this occassion was no exception.. ‘Never spoke of his love for her nor about the special place, but ‘She’ knew it all and so did ‘He’. She admired him and loved him.

A child she was, once his child; now a woman, is gonna be another’s bride. This felt weird to assimilate. She was the older one, who spent the most time with him and invariably the apple of his eye. Too many similarities and too many differences, but still she was the most special. ’25 years of loving her, seeing her grow up and caring for her’– never did he think that this will make letting her go this gut wrenching. This was the last thing he ever wanted, or he even wanted to dream of. But alas, it all happened so soon and sudden.

He remembered

the first time she held his hand,

the first time she said she loves him,

the first time they had an argument,

the first time he hit her,

the first time she broke his heart, but above all this he would always cherish

 the frozen moment when he first held her.

She made his ‘LIFE’ – complete, feel so right, special, but the girl, now a woman is stepping away to make someone’s else ‘LIFE’.

He could have held her close, saying ‘I do not like your choice’ and may be, just may be, she would have been with him a while longer, but he knew she could never go wrong, nor he had the heart to add a few more years of loving that would make things more painful.

He knew – ‘He was her inspiration, someone whom she admired all her life’ but every time she told him that, ‘He” would neither acknowledge nor agree. The truth was that, ‘He actually did not know what he was suppose to say’ and again was not able to express how wonderful he felt.

Finally, he realized all he could think of was, how much he loved her, how much he would miss her once she is gone.

All he wanted to say was that she meant the WORLD to him. She made his ‘LIFE’.

PS: This was something I had written for my father a few years back. And even that day when he read this, he acknowledged me with just a smile. I knew that is all I could get out of him. Now I am married and I have not seen him for a year (seen only on skype). I have a chat with my mother almost everyday and whenever I enquire her about my dad, she only says, ” he misses you a lot” 🙂 🙂 

PPS: Today this post, because I am missing him a lot and wish I could be with him right away. I have  written him lots and lots of letters and this one is my favorite. My brains weren’t ticking and I did not want to write anything afresh, so this special letter can be read by all of you 🙂 

PPPS: This wood pigeon for some very weird reason looked apt for this post 🙂