A phase



“All three are hip-deep in midlife, when the eyes go and the waistline spreads and the city on the hill that shone so brightly in youth turns out to be more like a semi-incorporated town in the middle of a garbage strike. An age when a person can feel not so much himself as an inexplicably inferior version of himself.” ―  Mary McNamara

Well, did not mean to sound so negative about this stage of life, but this could be true. In my opinion this phase is a tough one. By this time people would have probably retired from work and the children already married. So it would be just the couple. It is now when they would start looking back and analyze their accomplishments or failures. They would either feel their life was a success or a loss. Life always gives us options, it is up to us to choose.

I am Indian and very proud of my culture. But there is one thing that I am not very convinced (not sure if it is a part of our culture). Indians are known for their family bond. Our lives revolve around our families. Indians spend their lives dreaming about what their children would be. We sacrifice a lot for them to reach where we probably would have liked to see us. But during this journey of living for the children, we forget to live our lives. We forget that even we could have dreams and wishes for ourselves. We sometimes become very dependent and we start to have expectations. I feel it is very important for every individual to experience their share of everything. I am not saying these people feel sorry for themselves, but what I mean is one should not spend the entire lives living for some one else. We need to understand that life does not end the moment we stop working or the moment children grow up. It moves on and we need to as well. 

My parents never went on holidays just by themselves, they did not spend much for each other. Every thought would be about how they could spend the money for me or my sister. Thinking of this my love and respect for them only increases , but today when I see myself travelling all around the world, I feel guilty. I think how much they had to give up then for us and how they would have felt then. Travelling when young is different from travelling when old. My parents were always busy with serving the relatives, work, bringing up two daughters. Of course I am sure they did find happiness even in that. I am also sure most of the Indians (previous generation) spent their lives the same way. 

I have heard people during this phase feeling lonely, isolated, afraid to speak out and not being sure of anything. They lose confidence and they start to feel very inferior. It is very important that every individual keeps themselves busy by doing things that they love. They should take care of themselves and their interests. One should explore within and find a new meaning to life. It is a great way to successfully get over this phase. One can either make it look like a struggle or make it a smooth journey. I wish it turns out to be an easy one for everybody. Cheers!!