Mentality…

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A few weeks back  I went to a friend’s house for dinner. It was a get-together and there were quite a few people in there. The friend’s wifey had cooked this really yummy food. We all helped ourselves, but this girl (lets call her W) was running around and had not started eating. So I forced her to start hogging and not to worry about the rest. She started eating, but every few minutes she kept walking to her husband and checking on him. For sometime I did not quite understand what was happening. I saw that she was not eating and kept walking with her plate to the kitchen and coming back with the dishes to serve her husband.  And then this is what happened…..

Me: You are really troubling her and not allowing her to eat peacefully (with a smile).  Why don’t you just walk to the kitchen and help yourself??

‘The Man’ friend: Oh well, this is her duty to serve me. She is married to me and she better do all this. She is not even a working woman, she is at home all day. Cooking and serving me would keep her busy. And moreover that is what our Indian culture is all about. The values cannot change just because she has moved abroad.

Me: SHOCKED!!! SURPRISED!!! SPEECHLESS!!!

‘The Man’ (to his wife): What do you say W? Am I not right??

W (without eye contact): Whatever you say is right.

Me: WHATTT???!!!! Really??? SHOCKED again!!!

I was wondering if an employed woman would be looked upon differently. I was wondering whether a woman is imagined to be so dependent on the man or is it actually a  fact?? And does the woman herself believe that she has to be dictated? How can a man define the duties for a woman?? And who really gives him the authority?? True that when two individuals are married, their lives revolve around each other. There are alterations and changes. But nobody  becomes dependent on the other or nobody has an upper hand over the other. I have always thought they complement each other. Now, I don’t even believe that education can change the attitude, because this man is highly qualified, yet holds a very narrow outlook. I have nothing against men, but these kind of few instances really makes one think. How different is a man from a woman?? Again, I don’t vouch for equality, I believe in equity, but what I believe more is respect for the individual.

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