An unexpected encounter
Photo: google images
It was an unexpected encounter. The first time I saw them was when I was about 5 years old. They were a group of about five/six, but I seem to remember just one of their faces very clearly even to this date. There was something about that one person. I remember the moment I saw her, I was scared and confused. She was tall, fair, huge and very cheerful and I was tiny with a blue frock on. They had just collected some money from one of the houses in my flat. I was walking down the stairs and they were walking up. For a moment I wanted to run back to any house that I found open, but for some reason I stood there feeling a little uneasy. They all were loud, clapping and laughing amongst themselves. And this one lady came and stood right next and her hand-held my wrist. They were firm and I did not dare to move or try taking my hand off. I was about to cry. She smiled, bent down and kissed me on my cheek and said “Bahut sundar ho” (you are very beautiful). The rest were looking at how my face had changed and were smiling. She asked me what my name was and I told her. I smiled then.
I think my love for them started that very day.
I had always wanted to know this group of people better and closely. And it happened only during my stay in Chennai. I was living alone and I had all the freedom to do whatever I want. So while working in slums I made it a point to find these people and spend time with them. I initiated groups and did a lot of programmes for them and with them. They all had a story to tell and every story was a different one. Sometime later I met this one lady. She was a successful dance teacher and was in love with a man and hoping to get married to him. A very smart, intelligent and determined lady. She was not from a well to do family, she was all by herself, yet she managed to achieve where she wanted to be. She always told me that she had to go through a lot of suffering, but she was stubborn not to give up and that is why she is here today. We have had long conversations, went for a movie, walks and I realized they are just like any other human being. They just want love. I called her Akka (sister) and she very religiously kept in touch and used to call me every now and then. I have a lot of respect for this lady.
The best days of my life till date would always be the time I spent in Chennai. So many experiences, so many encounters, so many lessons, so many people that touched my life in ways that I can never express in words.
PS: Not sure if I was clear enough on who these people are. These people belong to the so-called ‘third gender’.
Wow. My Ph. D. thesis was on them. You have rightly mentioned that they are always seeking love and so are we. Glad to have some points of connection.
A post I wrote two years ago:
http://www.susan-deborah.org/2009/12/love-naturally.html
Joy always,
Susan
Thanks for stopping by, Susan. Had a look at your post.. watching the movie now 🙂
That’s a nice post 🙂
Thanks Prashanth 🙂
Impressive article shru, Yes they are absolutely lovely people. Thanks to my western education, during school days or UG days or even at PG always had a good number of “third gender” friends. As you know already, in UK they are treated as any “straight gender” person. I hope someday even in our India these people get equality.
Ohh yes!! Know that things are a lot better here. But have not had a chance to meet any. would love to meet one 🙂
nicely written
Thanks, Arindam 🙂
We will talk more on this some time 🙂
You have my utmost respect for what you are into, you know this right ?
Ohh yes, we will 🙂 And the respect is mutual.. You know it!
Respect and salute to you!!! 🙂
Thanks, Akash 🙂 But I think it is too much of an appreciation for an ordinary act. But yes, the post is very special.
Thanks for stopping by!
Nice!!
But know what?? Many people dread going near or feel humiliated talking to them, so people never get a chance to know about them!!
I sometimes feel bad when the come in groups demanding money in trains and shops. I too have respect for them. But this begging is little disheartening!
They can be treated well, but its the society that we are groomed by…so it will take a long time to change this mindset!
Good read!!
True, Kalyan.. The encounters may not be pleasant always. But if we think of it in their shoes, you would know why they behave like that. The society is not nice to them and their only way to defend is to be tough and that in turn brings out so many unpleasant situations.
And about them demanding/begging for money is not always by choice- do you think they would still opt to begging if they were allowed to work? They have only two options- begging or sex trade and this is their only way to survival. Well there are a few others (like the friend I mentioned) who are determined to make it in life, but not everybody is that strong willed.
Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Very nice post. Once i had an encounter with them in mumbai train. they were too good to us. they told money demanding is the only way to survive (not live). from Pune till CST we ppl had a big conversation and they talked about their fate and their struggle to live a life.
very nice…. Hope everyone will understand they are also like us with good mind and heart.
All of us being normal is more of a coincidence and rather an accident only and it need not be taken as a virtue..Accordingly third gender people are as normal as anyone else , it is not their fault for being so.You have nicely and naturally reflected the feelings which were spontaneous and the transformation in you and the instinct in you to know their finer feelings and appreciate them is really commendable.
Wish every one reads this and travel such experience personally to realize the finer feelings of less priviledged.
That’s such a touching post! So true about what you said..
And I accept with Kalyan too. I too feel bad when they literally demand money! Its indeed disheartening! Hope the situation changes and they find jobs in main stream!
Impressive article!
Thanks a lot Pravin 🙂
WELCOME!
Just Awesome..Great job..:)
Thanks a lot:-)
Thanks for sharing. I’m sure that would’ve been some experience, or rather common one. These guys need to be accepted in the society, so that they can work and earn and live respectfully. I always have loved the random conversation I had with these guys, if was damn fun. My friends wouldn’t like it, but I dint care. I remember having a big argument with a friend, she had referred to them as ‘it/thing’.
I am glad that you feel so about them. We definitely need a lot more people like you to change the world.